“Yo girl, you gaining weight?” My jaw dropped slightly at his frank and forward approach, and I tried not to hiss too much venom in his direction as I responded that “Yes, I was trying to actively gain weight”. Now, we know from his opening line that he has no filter, but I was floored when he took it a step further and asked me “Why I would ever want to gain weight” (for the record I’m tipping the scales between 118- 120lb in hopes of stepping on stage around 106lbs next year, this photo was taken 2 weeks ago). Mustering up the last little ounce of patience I didn’t have I looked him square in the eye and said “Well, I’m the one that has to walk around in my body and if I’m comfortable then that’s all that really matters isn’t it.” At this I put my headphones back on and walked away.
Throughout the year my physique is met with a myriad of reactions. During competition season many people compliment me on how ripped, cut or shredded I am. They share words of encouragement and positivity. On the contrary, I also have individuals tell me I’m too muscular for a girl or that I’m too skinny and I need to “live a little and eat”. In my improvement season half of the people are asking me why I gained weight/ what happened and the other half are telling me that they like my bigger, fuller look. Then there are those who regardless of the season tell me that they like the way I look, but that they themselves would never want to look like me (I’m not sure where to categorize this back handed compliment).The fact of the matter is that regardless of my current physique conditioning there is ALWAYS going to be someone who has an opinion about my look either for or against.
I must find happiness and validation of self through my own personal convictions and NOT through the opinions of others. If I spent any significant amount of time concerning myself over the varying public opinions about MY BODY I would constantly feel poorly about myself. Do the negative comments hurt, of course!! Do they sometimes get my blood boiling and a small pity party started, yes!! However, I refuse to let the opinions of others define me and my self worth. My advice is to allow the positivity and compliments to fuel your journey, cast aside the negative- let it be an exercise in becoming mentally stronger. The ONLY person whose opinion matters about YOUR physique is YOURS.