It’s MY BODY, not yours.

IMG_20130623_123413“Yo girl, you gaining weight?” My jaw dropped slightly at his frank and forward approach, and I tried not to hiss too much venom in his direction as I responded that “Yes, I was trying to actively gain weight”. Now, we know from his opening line that he has no filter, but I was floored when he took it a step further and asked me “Why I would ever want to gain weight” (for the record I’m tipping the scales between 118- 120lb in hopes of stepping on stage around 106lbs next year, this photo was taken 2 weeks ago). Mustering up the last little ounce of patience I didn’t have I looked him square in the eye and said “Well, I’m the one that has to walk around in my body and if I’m comfortable then that’s all that really matters isn’t it.” At this I put my headphones back on and walked away.

Throughout the year my physique is met with a myriad of reactions. During competition season many people compliment me on how ripped, cut or shredded I am. They share words of encouragement and positivity. On the contrary, I also have individuals tell me I’m too muscular for a girl or that I’m too skinny and I need to “live a little and eat”.  In my improvement season half of the people are asking me why I gained weight/ what happened and the other half are telling me that they like my bigger, fuller look. Then there are those who regardless of the season tell me that they like the way I look, but that they themselves would never want to look like me (I’m not sure where to categorize this back handed compliment).The fact of the matter is that regardless of my current physique conditioning there is ALWAYS going to be someone who has an opinion about my look either for or against.

I must find happiness and validation of self through my own personal convictions and NOT through the opinions of others. If I spent any significant amount of time concerning myself over the varying public opinions about  MY BODY I would constantly feel poorly about myself. Do the negative comments hurt, of course!! Do they sometimes get my blood boiling and a small pity party started, yes!! However, I refuse to let the opinions of others define me and my self worth. My advice is to allow the positivity and compliments to fuel your journey, cast aside the negative- let it be an exercise in becoming mentally stronger. The ONLY person whose opinion matters about YOUR physique is YOURS.

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14 thoughts on “It’s MY BODY, not yours.

  1. Thank you for posting get this all the time also. Just competed staying lean for me and me only. They ask well how much did you lose to look like that? Why don’t you want to put it back on? Geez!! Do your thing girl! Love our muscles and we are happy Girls!

  2. I’ve made a comment similar to the last one. I never even thought of it as being a backhanded complement. I will have to watch that. I always admire the work that goes into making competition bodies. That is a job. I know I would rather look like you do on any day of the week — in any season you find yourself — than my flabby butt (I have been under the weather and at 50 muscle fades fast) right now. I hope I can start back tomorrow. I am going for one of my classes tomorrow. I hate to miss weight training.

    You rock on in your beautiful body. Glad you know yourself.

  3. Thank you for your thoughts and kind words Shonnie! Keep working towards your goal and remind yourself that every step forward is a step in the right direction. Can’t make it to the gym that day for various reasons, then focus on your meal choices! This way you still feel like you are actively pursuing your healthy lifestyle!! Thank you again for your kind words!

  4. You are very welcome. I think it is so important to encourage each other. I workout because I want to live. I know that sounds extreme, but it is the reason. I did make it in to the class … man was I a whiney butt, but I did it. :D

  5. Nicole – You are amazing! Though it’s your “off season” (there really isn’t one though, is there) you are going strong and tearing it up. I would LOVE to be able to build like you. I know you already are – but be so extremely proud of yourself for the “amazing wonderful GAINS” you have and will be making. People that make ‘negative’ comments are usually jealous because they know they should work harder than they are, but just don’t make the commitment. They wish they had and looked what you have and how you look. You’re amazing.

  6. Oh thank you Deb! Your words of encouragement, positivity and kindness truly inspire me. You are so incredibly supportive and it means a great deal. Congratulations on your recent contest, you did AWESOME!!! I am so excited for your success, keep pushing!

  7. AAHggg…I just realized that I have said this to you…(Then there are those who regardless of the season tell me that they like the way I look, but that they themselves would never want to look like me (I’m not sure where to categorize this back handed compliment)…I hope you know that it’s only because I’m just happy not being 230 pounds anymore, definitely not a back handed compliment on any level :)

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